Stem Cell Transplant Journal Day 3 – 3 December 2015 (Cancer and Me 44)

My sleep last night wasn’t great, but not terrible. The nurse was very quiet coming in to do my obs (temperature, pulse and blood pressure) at 2:45am and then again at 6:15am. The main thing that disturbed my sleep was that I kept waking up panicking that I’d forgotten what I was supposed to be doing today. I knew it involved chemotherapy, but I had a feeling I was supposed to tell someone something important. By the time I turned the lights on just before 7am that fear evaporated as I saw it for what it was – just my brain playing tricks.

Cytarabine came along at 10am, taking about half an hour. Then came “hydration” (meaning bag of saline through the drip) and two bags of Etopiside spread over 2 hours.

I’m not sure how I frittered away the afternoon after Heidi had left around 2:30pm. Emails, facebook, eating dinner, watching a film on iTunes, chatting with the Tom and Anna on facetime, chatting with the cleaner about movies…

And at 9pm, as I was starting to feel nauseous for the first time really, along came the nurse with some more anti-sickness pills plus more Cytarabine.

It’s now 9:30pm and I am feeling decidedly nauseous. I hope that passes soon so I can get some sleep. It strikes me that the reality of the situation doesn’t hit until it’s really real. I’ve had chemo before, I know how it makes you feel and what it does, and yet I act surprised when I have it injected and feel off colour. What did I expect?!

On a final note for today, to end with a positive, I’ve been amazed at people’s generosity. Since mentioning Heidi’s travel costs the other day in this journal a couple of people in particular have been very generous, and those costs are now covered. And our church is arranging evening meals every day for Heidi and the kids, so that Heidi doesn’t have to worry about that while thinking about everything else. I sat here thinking how I don’t deserve such gifts, but also know that we we would struggle to get by without them. Thank you to all those who find it in their hearts to help us financially and practically, but also to those who pray and listen and ‘be there’ and give us encouraging messages of support.