Stem Cell Transplant Journal Day 14 – 14 December 2015 (Cancer and Me 55)
In relation to how I’m feeling, things are still getting worse. And I’m now at my most vulnerable too, so things could get even worse quite quickly.
When I got up for the toilet in the night I came over with a cold sweat and almost passed out, and I’ve just been lying in bed most of the day. Most of the time I couldn’t even muster the enthusiasm to put the TV on or listen to music. Heidi was very patient when she was here, but it must have been very boring for her!
Thankfully I perked up enough to watch a film and chat on FaceTime on separate occasions with Heidi, Tom and Anna in the evening. But it has left me quite drained.
I’m not eating anything, so all the calories and nutrition I get is through ‘build up’ milkshakes and yoghurt. That’s all I can stomach. And if it weren’t for the threat of the NG tube I’d be happy having nothing! I do hope this constant nausea passes soon, as I do enjoy eating nice food!
So far since being in here I’ve lost about 5kg in weight. And I reckon I’m sufficiently overweight that I can stand losing about another 8 or 9kg before I start to look too skinny. So there’s a little silver lining to the cloud… so long as it doesn’t involve the NG tube! My jeans will fit better when I put them on to go home in a week or so.
Dear Andrew.
You are a very dear brother in Christ and I have the utmost admiration of how you have and are coping with this ghastly illness. I do hope you are sensing the power of prayer that is surrounding you and your family.
Can I share some words from my ‘ Jesus calling’ calendar, praying that they will bless encourage and comfort you.
” I am taking care of you. Feel the warmth and security of being enveloped in My loving Presence. Every detail of your life is under My control. Moreover, everything fits into a pattern for good,to those who love Me and are called according to My design and purpose……… What you know of the world you inhabit is only the tip of the iceberg.
Submerged beneath the surface of the visible are mysteries too vast for you to comprehend. If you could only see how close I am to you and how constantly I work on your behalf, you would never again doubt that I am wonderfully caring for you. This is why you must live my faith, not by sight, trusting in My mysterious, majestic Presence”
May the peace of God that passes all understanding, guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus, dear Andy.
Love and prayers
Pam